Much too

*Yawns* Me tired.



Much too divested of time to be as, and do as, I please. I consistently discover myself wandering in reverie of the amazing nature of the people in my life. Perchance random folk, but truly my pattern's stitching and strands. Those with whom I work, to the loves I have lost and in so learned, and moreover even than any other, those loves that have never abandoned me in my mistakenly human actions-you are what makes me....ME. I am proud to be who I am, and prouder still that I call so few, and yet such a stalwart few, friends.

Just a reminder

I am alone, not lonely. Single. Unattached. NO LOVE INTEREST!!!!! I can't have one anyway, as time has shown. Add to that, the fact that I am in the army, and it keeps me rather.....ahem....mobile....and well, who the fuck wants to deal with that?

Not everyone who should is reading this, but hey, some might.

I love my friends. All of them. There are many people that are 'friends' and there are a select few that are far more. I love them more, no offense to the rest.

I have siblings. They are not the same, and I do not love them the same.

Some of my friends have been romantic interests of mine in the past. They are not now. I did not stop loving them. If anything, it has allowed me to recognize how strongly I care about them, even more than I ever thought I could.

My other friends? My love for them has grown too, over time. I consider some to be brothers, and some to be sisters, but I do not love them that way. I love them in a different, sometimes stronger, way. Because they CHOOSE me as a friend. Family cannot choose.

One who chooses to love you, one who TRULY loves you, for you, and no other reason, can, when the chips are down, be worth more than all the family one could wish for......If you read this, and don't understand it, sorry.

Those that may love me

Thanks. Maybe I don't say it often enough. I am glad you are out there. You save me time and time again. Sometimes way before I even need it.

Breaking

Another day, another brick. Mortar is a bit salty, and sparse. This was no cask of Amontillado, and no one is being walled in, for certain.

Cause to thine misery I do offer my countenance, as nary a worthy one. Bit back from tongue forevermore the trying note. Twas only I sought most incremental reciprocity, which was too much for my honesty put paid. Gifted instead, he, who places no value in it so much as I would live for those simple three.

Things are just going

straight some days, crooked others. I'm not crooked, mind you. A little bored maybe, but only because I keep spending TONS of time doin things I would rather not be doing, heh. They do need to be done though......at least I am useful somewhere, and I haven't made anyone miserable in a few days (I think, I could be wrong). Pretty tired all around. Gonna have to keep this up for a while, and, in fact, increase the tempo too.....'No rest for the weary' (I prefer "No rest for the wicked." but 'weary' is the original. In case any of you read this, and have felt left out lately, I'm sorry, I am just really busy. Much love to many, greatest to a few.......later.

Where does one go from there?

Depends on where there is....... Hope? Success? Steps in the right direction? Yeah, sure. What if you can see the direction divergent, and wish to will it anon? Do you succeed there? Methinks it truer and simpler to simply stalk the shadows, striking matches when needed, and lighting the prisms when called upon...... Flights of fancy are seldom fancy. Some things you think are complicated, are just complex. There really only is one road through the labyrinth for each of us. Your perspective is your reality, no harm in trying to make it objective, or is there?

No takers

Seek Solace, find none. One has my shield (endure any sufferance). One has my sword (spread any sufferance). One has my heart (simulacrum of sufferance). None have my soul (command of sufferance). I need only the last. Leading edge.....SOLO ERRANT.

Say it, I will heed it, you quartet, my houris and the meeting of twins. Not exactly "wise-men" all, but all I have left, and how many of them? We'll see.