What would you be?

If you could use a pop icon (or two, or more) to describe yourself in an analogous fashion, to whom would you compare/contrast?

I say this, because I often feel like the no-PhD holding version of House and Dexter mixed together. Interesting to me because one is a much appreciated and somewhat loved serial killer, and the other is a reviled, life-saving physician/surgeon. Anyone else see the juxtaposition in there? Thought you might.

I know I can be without feelings if I need to...but do I? Should I? It does make things easier, but unfortunately, it also is a self-defeating act of intent. No emotional pouring, leaves you out of touch, and therefore, craving more. Too much emotion and people see you as cryptic, crazy or annoying, leaving you out of touch, craving more, heh. Figures.

I have been trying feelings for a while now, but I don't think they are worth it overall. Most days, I just wish I could keep them shut off until "needed". Whatever that means.

Incidentally, work really is kicking my ass right now. I still love it, and things are going fine, but I am getting burnt out, bad. Three or Four weeks, tops, and I am either gonna get a week or two worth of down time, or I am gonna end up in the psych ward. I just want to get some stuff done for myself, and get some real no-bullshit, downtime.


*sigh*

Travel Promotion Act of 2009

I am a traveller, and a US citizen. I vote, I read the news, and I take part in my governement to best of my abilities. As a US Service Member, I have served overseas repeatedly, and I agree absolutely with the sentiment in this opinion. The "Travel Promotion Act of 2009 is nothing more than a tax in sheep's clothing. Too many Americans wear blinders when it comes to the affect on the Global community which our actions have. This is a travesty, and should not be allowed. We, as a nation, and government, have no right to levy unnecessary taxes on anyone, and frankly, I would be shocked if US tourism does not suffer for the implementation of such a fee. Taking more and more money from people to redistribute to other people or entities is not Democracy, or Capitalism. It is Marxist-Leninist, and would make a poor substitute for the formers..... Don't we already know what comes of a non-utopian experiment in Communism/Socialism? As long as people are imperfect, these "tax 'em til they rebel" policies will never bear fruit ere revolution. What fools to not have studied history, now they must repeat....

Last of another day

Finishing up with BNCOC in the morning. Thank God. Still feeling pretty shitty, but I forced myself to go and do again today, so I got some yard work done. I like the feeling of accomplishment, just as anyone might, but to have it overshadowed by an oppressive need to sleep/nap afterwards.....I could do without. I need to put in a pass for a 4 day. Not to go home, but to get stuff done at my house. Too many 75+ hour work weeks lately, leaves me unwilling or unable to do anything on the weekend. I am so looking forward to the next deployment (as usual). Sorry, Allie, I am what I am, I know it worries you-for me, and for Josh. I can but be myself, of course. Thank you, as always for supporting the me I am. Same goes for my other friends, like Erin, and Mel, and Brian, Rock, and more. My family is there too. I sure do appreciate the homefront being there for me. I think all soldiers do.

Incidentally

I don't think I am gonna lay out any kind of disparity between blogs like some of the more high-speed peeps on here have done. Hence-you may get shit like this:

If you don't think before you act, you may want to consider societal suicide. As in-don't go out unless it is a survival trip. Not nearly enough people these days is capable of critical thinking.

What is "Critical Thought/Thinking" you ask? Well, if you have that question, you probably aren't doing it. Here's the rub: CRITICAL Thought, is not about negativity, nor about criticizing anypone. It is about secondary, tertiary, quadrinary and further effect.

Example: I sign the contract to buy a car.
Primary effect: I pay for it.
Secondary effect: I pay the registration.
Tertiary effect: I have to put the plate/sticker on the car.
Quadrinary: I need a mounting bracket/clean spot/screwdriver which I don't have....I need a temoprary tag.

Notice how this is not about costs, were it, "pay for it" would be followed by insurance and fuel as well. Those are ordinal effect. (To do B you must accomplish A. If A cannot be accomplished, Z must be completed, you get it? Cause and effect, but more on a one-for-one basis)

Mind you this is a case of something previously worked out in so many cases. What is the case with things like pets? Houses? Children?

Serious issues arise when critical thought falls short.

People who don't critcally think tend to make false justifications for their lack of intelligent decision making. In addition, these are more likely to be the "No" people who cannot say "Yes" but choose to exercise their fleeting, pitiful "No" authority whenever they sense they can.

Sinus Destruction

My shnoz is killin me atm. Dunno what did it, but I am nigh abject misery. Solution: stop whiny bitchin and get out, get some coffee, and go play other juvenile adults at a game wherein I may utterly destroy them. Always makes ME feel better.......

Been a while

I don't update blogs much lately. Not sure why. I have been pissed off and depressed and lonely lately, so maybe that leads me to both update, and stay home some. Need to do lots of stuff around the house. Been sick for about a week. Come Tuesday, if I'm still feeling this way I'm goin' to the clinic. Just sinus and chest I think, but takin' too long.

Really missing AM and MG lately. I suppose they know that....

Damned if I do

Dear God,

Can you please stop playing tricks on me? I no longer find the irony appealing. I laugh in order to not scare "the straights" as Venkman would say. Seriously though. I try to "improve myself, only to find that who I am is who I was is what is wanted is I still I am. Clouding it for the sake of trying is not really trying at all. I am still me, and won't change, so stop playing with me. :P

K.M.T.

Did I mention

How much I can't stand being the dumbass SOB? Why is it I insist on being the one who cares, yet only being the one for whom is cared less? Yep. Again-I just don't matter. Well, in some way(s) I suppose I do. Maybe it will be enough, although it is a bit self-aggrandizing. I suppose I just have to happily settle. Yep. Well time to finish my becoming then......... If anyone cares-Sorry for the disconnect.

This is about people I know who have no connection to be able to read this. Not a person-people. The whole people are dumb, a person is smart kind of thing. I was out REALLY late last night, and it was good. I was only venting and trying not to sound depressed. I was not referring to mattering in a biblical sense-cog in a big machine rather. :)

Miscellaneous Travail

Touchy and tried and too much pride
To ever be allowed myself to abide
and once I came upon such relief
ever knowing that it was only belief
in myself by my loves who never seem
to find among themselves own dream
and missed what once came upon this night to abate the solo dreamless fright
I stand and sit await your call
but never will hear received the wall
of affront to defence and mean not bight
but know and found what it seems is right
whence? come find me
I have gone not far afield, but may upon my remains to disappear
...............